'Class 1 - WHY MARRY'

December 16, 2013 at 6:57pm

In these two weeks we’ll InSha-Allah learn how and why is marriage a form of worship. We’ll look at the institution of marriage with relevance to today’s world from an Islamic perspective. By the end of the course we’ll all be a better spouse and will fall deeper in love with our better halves InSha-Allah for ‘when Love is for the sake of Allah, it doesn’t die’.

Today’s class is just an introduction to the course and full fledged learning will start from tomorrow In Sha Allah. Happy Learning :)

WHY SHOULD I GET MARRIED?

MOST IMPORTANTLY…. To find love, mercy and security in one another

Allah states, “Permitted for you, during the night of the fast, that you approach your wives. They are your garments, and you are their garments” [al-Baqarah; 187].

In this verse, each spouse is described as a ‘garment’ to the other. The famous exegete Ibn Jarir al-Tabari (d. 311) stated that this description most aptly described the act of intimacy between the spouses, for during that act, each spouse sheds his or her other garments and then wraps around the other, taking the place of clothes. Al-Qurtubi (d. 671) also comments on this metaphor, and adds that just as clothes protect their wearer from the external elements, similarly each spouse protects the other from external passions that would harm a marriage.

Combining between the various explanations of this beautiful metaphor found in the books of tafseer, we can derive many meanings from it:

• The act of procreation is so intimate that it is literally as if one of the spouses covers up the other, just as clothing covers up one’s body. Another expression that the Qur’aan uses for the sexual act is the verb ghashsha, which means ‘to cover up, to envelop’.
• One primary purpose of clothing is to conceal one’s nakedness, since this nakedness (or `awrah) is embarrassing to display, and should be hidden from the eyes of others. Similarly, each spouse conceals the other spouse’s faults, and does not reveal them to others.
• Clothing protects one from the external elements, such as heat and cold. Similarly, spouses protect one another from external desires that originate from many different sources. By satisfying these desires within the confines of marriage, external passions are removed.
• Clothing is the primary method through which humans beautify themselves. Without clothing, one is incomplete and naked. Similarly, spouses beautify and complete one another; when a person is not married, he or she is not yet complete and has not reached his or her full potential.

Marriage is an essential part of being fully human, just like clothes are an essential part of being fully civilized.

• Clothes are only worn in front of others, and are not necessary in front of spouses. It is only in front of one’s spouse that the other spouse can discard his or her garments.
• Clothes are the closest thing to one’s body. Nothing comes between a person and his or her clothes. So the analogy of spouses being ‘like clothes to one another’ implies such a closeness – there is nothing, literally and metaphorically, that should come between spouses.

Marriage Is One of Allah's Laws

One of Allah’s important laws is that things are created in pairs; and from these pairs, reproduction occurs. Allah (SWT ) says:

 “We have created all things in pairs, that perhaps you may remember.” 

This applies to human beings who are made of male – female pairs as well. Humankind started with our father, Adam, and our mother, Hawwa‟ (Eve). From that pair, Allaah (SWT) created all of the other people, as He (SWT) says:

“O people! Revere your Lord who has created you from a single soul, created from it its mate, and dispersed from both of them many men and women.”

Islaam Urges The Muslims To Marry

Allaah commands the believers to marry and help those under their charge to marry as well. He says:

 “Marry the unmarried among you and the righteous of your male and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allaah will enrich them from His favors. Allaah is Bountiful and Knowing.” 

Also, Allah’s Messenger (S.A.W.) commanded the young people to marry, and advised those of them who could not afford it to fast as a means of controlling their sexual desire. Ibn Mas‟ood (r.a.) reported, “We were with the Prophet (S.A.W.)

while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allah’s Messenger (S.A.W.) said:

“Young men, those among you who can afford marriage should do so, for it helps lower the gaze and guard the private parts (from zina). And those who cannot afford it should fast, for fasting is a repression (of desire) for him.

Advantages Of Marriage

Being ordained by Allaah the Most Wise and All – Knowing, marriage is sure to have many virtues and advantages. In what follows we list a number of them.

1. PRESERVATION OF FAITH AND RELIGION

Righteous spouses assist one another in preserving their Deen by offering help, support, and advice that enable them to obey Allaah and abstain from sinning.

Anas ( RA) reported that the Prophet (S.A.W ) said:

“When Allaah grants one a righteous wife, He has helped him (by that) to preserve half of his religion. Let him then fear and revere Allaah in regard to the other half.”10 

2. Marriage, The Door To Wealth!

“And marry those among you who are single (male and female) and (also marry) the pious of your (male) slaves and maid-servant (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing.” [Surah An-Noor, 32]

Through this aayah, the companions would encourage others to get maried.

Abu Bakr As-Sadeeq is reported to have said, “Obey Allaah in what He comanded you to do by getting married; He will then fulfil His promise to you to make you rich.” He then recited the (above) verse.

‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab said. “Seek richness through marriage!“

Likewise, ‘Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood said, “Find richness by getting married.“

‘Abdullaah Ibn ‘Abbaas said, “Allah has commanded (the Muslims) to get married, and He has encouraged and enticed them for it. So He has commanded to marry off their free-men and slaves (i.e., all those under their protection), and He has then promised them richness as a result.“

It has been narated that ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab once remarked. “I have never seen any stranger than a man who does not seek richness through marriage, even though Allaah has promised, as a result of it (i.e., marriage) what He has promised: “…if they are poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty.““

Non-Islamic advantages of getting Married:

1. You get someone to share your life with

Staying single is not as appealing as it looks. At some point in your life you may feel the need to be loved and taken care of. You would wish there was someone to share your sad and happy moments, someone to share your success and failure, someone to do things along with you, someone to accompany you on vacations, just someone who shares life with you! Marriage allows you to have this someone who will share your feelings and experiences.  

2. Good Mental Health

People who are single feel more burdened by life’s hardships whereas married people have a partner to support and comfort them thus making them worry less about such obstacles in life and improve their emotional health. Married people are less distraught and less psychologically perturbed than single, divorced, cohabiting or widowed people. When people marry, their mental health improves in a steady and considerable manner. 

3. Help beat Cancer

 In a Norwegian study, divorced and never-married male cancer patients had 11 and 16 percent higher mortality rates, respectively, than married men.

4. Help You Live Longer

 A UCLA study found that people in generally excellent health were 88 percent more likely to die over the 8-year study period if they were single.

5. True Love

There is no bigger proof of true love than Love for the Sake of Allah and if a couple is married with the intention of completing their deen Allah instill in their hearts Love for each other and tranquiity. Marriage ultimately signifies true and real love. 

Dangers of Bachelorship

A strange phenomenon has recently developed among Muslims, without being confined to one country or nationality-the alarming number of unmarried Muslim men and women.

What is the effect of single unmarried men and women on the community? To find the answer to this question, all one has to do is look at the non-Muslim communities. Every day we are confronted by the perversion and sinful practices that the non-Muslims find acceptable in their societies. This occurs because of their unnatural decision to abstain from marriage.

From short course : Better Half Better Life - Etiquette of Marital Life